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According to Hugo Schwyzer, this age dynamic is sexist and hurts men and women alike.He says, “If there’s one tangible thing that men can do to help end sexism—and create a healthier culture in which young people come of age—it’s to stop chasing after women young enough to be their biological daughters.” Schwyzer goes on to say, “As hyperbolic as it may sound, there are few more powerful actions that men can take to transform the culture than to date, mate, and stay with their approximate chronological peers.It’s all pretty inconceivable in the long term, and yet it’s happening all the same.

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They are twenty years apart, and they’ve been together for two. “I watch so many of my other friends agonize over text messages from guys who . It’s not an “old-fashioned” dating scheme, it’s just a more humane one.

“I wasn’t trying to go back in time,” Gabrielle added at the end of our conversation.

“Nobody wants to go back to the 1950s, we just want to be treated with respect.” But there are downsides to large age disparities, and women in particular sacrifice a great deal when they make this choice.

Child-bearing and rearing becomes complicated, not to mention the potential for earlier onset of age-related medical challenges, as well as confronting constant social stigma.

We’ve all heard this idea before: men are designed to want to spread their seed, so in spite of their age and inability with age to care for children, they remain attracted to women who can propagate their DNA.

Schwyzer, on the other hand, believes that men are not hardwired to be attracted to younger women.

Reach back two decades and you are more likely to find a man who can’t fathom swiping through a series of pictures to find a mate for the night.

My friend Gabrielle met her boyfriend at a restaurant opening. just clearly don’t care.” The stereotypes, she says, are true: Older men are attentive, they aren’t threatened by your career success, they didn’t grow up watching porn on their laptops, and they certainly don’t expect sex from you before you’ve even had a chance to meet.

If aging guys would commit to doing this, everyone would benefit: older men and younger men, older women and younger women.” There’s no doubt that not everyone will agree with Schwyzer on this, especially not other middle-aged men.

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