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While people outside the relationship might perceive that as unfair—one gets to cheat, the other doesn't—what's more ideal than both halves of a couple getting just what they want?

But if an eroticized power imbalance—an honestly erotized one—doesn't turn you on, the creepily manipulative arrangement your husband is proposing certainly isn't going to work.

And you can find a guy who wants an open and egalitarian relationship, which is what you deserve.

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After trying some new arrangements—only together, only at sex parties, DADT—he realized he wasn't comfortable with any situation.

He told our therapist that every time I hooked up with someone, he was retraumatized because it reminded him of the time I broke up with him for six months 20 years ago.

So with your couples therapist there to mediate, tell him your marriage is either open or closed.

You're not interested in being his cuckold and he can't point to his trauma to force you into that role.

The tragedy is how unnecessary your choices have been.

There are women out there who aren't interested in monogamy, there are female cuckolds out there (cuckqueans) who want cheating husbands, and there are masochistic women (and men) out there who get off on the thought of being with a person who would like to crush them. We met in college and, except for a six-month break, we've been together ever since.Or maybe you're the wrong kind of sadist: the un-self-aware emotional sadist.You say you love your wife, but you also say she'd be crushed—destroyed—if she discovered what you've been doing. On the other hand, I have been deceitful and manipulative for almost my entire adult life. Part of my motivation for writing is that I am particularly attached to the woman I'm having an affair with now, and both of us fantasize about being together openly. And these women didn't "turn into" one-year, three-year, seven-month, and four-months-and-counting affairs on their own. On the one hand, I do not regret my time with any of these women. We are also very socially and financially entangled. And if so, I need help considering an exit strategy. It doesn't "just keep happening," ASSHOLE, you keep doing it.But if they don't, GMHC, neither of you is going to have a problem finding a new partner.

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