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If you fall in love with a guy with this kind of physical without emotional separation, your relationship will be limited by the continued presence of his wife in his emotional life. When a man, or woman, leaves his or her spouse, he or she has let go of his or her marriage at the point of deciding to leave. They live separately and work through the experience trying to decide whether to leave or not. Separation is being used mostly to help them decide when and how to divorce.

Now what is the difference between separating from your wife and leaving your wife? The technical aspects of whether or not he is separated or divorced are not really important. Apart from needing a little time to clear one’s head, a man who ‘leaves’ his wife is in a better position to start something new including a love relationship. Reason number two is, using separation to take a break.

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If your separated man is physically separated but not emotionally separated, you may have a similar problem.

He may look and sound like he’s separated from his wife, but in reality he is emotionally with her as a couple.

In these cases, separation is only physical and both spouses intend to resume their relationship once the worst is over. I have encountered couples where one (or both) spouses are too immature to remain married in a healthy manner.

The love between them is strong but the relationship is premature.

The intention was not to get rid of him and he knows it.

The intention is to teach him a lesson, or facilitate his maturity, or just give him a little time to think about what he has done before coming back at some indefinite future date. These are people who separate as a way station to divorce.

In case you missed it, she’s not dating you: she’s dating someone else.

As a ground rule, if a woman is seeing someone else, you don’t owe her anything.

This might involve alcohol abuse, drug abuse, relationship abuse, or mental illness of some kind.

The point is, the marriage goes on ‘hold’ for a while as one or the other or both spouses get the help they individually need.

Just because your lover is separated from his wife does not mean he is not ‘bound’ to her in some way.

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